The Latest News From Science and Nature

This is the premiere of a new feature, “Science and Nature Headlines,” where I read actual recent articles on the internet and summarize them, to save you more of your valuable time. The posts to the real links are included:

“Asian Unicorn” Seen in Vietnam for the First Time in 15 Years: When asked where he’d been, the antelope replied: “So we were going to lunch when I said, what, Mexican again? If I eat one more chimichanga, I swear I’ll puke. I’m a fucking ‘Asian’ Unicorn, not a Latino unicorn. So I said screw those guys, and left by myself for Mr. Wonton’s – they have the best egg rolls – and this fucking nun in a station wagon ahead of me, she brakes for a bunch of baby ducks crossing the street – so I slam on my brakes, air bag deploys but I’m a fucking unicorn, you know, my horn pops that fucker, and I hit my head on the steering wheel – next thing I know, I’m wandering around a jungle in Vietnam, and they tell me it’s 2014 – say, is ‘Saved by the Bell’ still on? That Screetch, he cracks me up!”

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/%E2%80%98asian-unicorn%E2%80%99-seen-vietnam-first-time-fifteen-years

Scientists Create Transparent Mice: Scientist Will Smith: “I was, in my lab, able to create a new breed of mice so transparent that one of them actually said, to a female mouse, ‘I have a copy of The Notebook that was signed by Nicholas Sparks. If you want to come by my labyrinth tonight, I’d be happy to show you.’” http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/transparent-mice-allow-incredible-anatomical-views

What’s the most dangerous place on earth? Turns out it’s seated between two life insurance salesmen on a cross country flight to Eugene, Oregon http://www.iflscience.com/environment/whats-most-dangerous-place-earth

Why is this giraffe gnawing on an impala skull? When asked , the giraffe replied: “Because I much prefer the taste of the Impala skull, especially the late sixties to early seventies sedan models, to the Camaros and Chevelles. I once tried the skull of a Buick LeSabre, and let me tell ‘ya, I was in the bathroom for a week.”