I have electric toenails.

One of the things that seem to be consistent in good writing, whether it is a work of fiction or an essay or whatever, is the importance of a strong opening, something to grab the reader’s attention, to pull them in.   Once you have the reader’s attention, you can do whatever you want.  For example, I don’t really have electric toenails.  I made that up to make my point.

I’ve been collecting good opening lines for some time now and jotting them down in my journal.  Someday I hope to write stories that make use of them.   What follows is a sampling of some of these journal entries – I think you will agree that these are great springboards from which stories could be sprung:

–           The bananas were ripe.

–           He stared into the abyss, deep and cavernous, suddenly aware that he hadn’t brushed his teeth.

–           It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times.  The point is, his watch had stopped at a quarter to five.

–          “Father,” he asked of the endless darkness that engulfed him, “do you have any cheese?”

–           The years were not kind to him.  The months, on the other hand, were quite generous, particularly May and October, frequently sharing their pudding.

–          My only regret is that I was wearing tube socks.

–          I can’t wrap my head around the fact that she is gone, probably because my head has no elasticity.

–          She left me as empty as a Republican’s soul.

–          Days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months.  The months, curiously, turned back into days.   Nobody knew quite what to do.

–          How many times do I have to tell you, I don’t know where the Kleenex are!

–          Their relationship was doomed from the beginning – she was a ballerina, and he was a three ringed binder.

I had more, but I spilled some grape juice on my journal, rendering the rest of them unreadable.  That’s okay, though – at least I saved the really good ones!