A Face Made for Radio


.... and a voice made for silent moviesI have, as they say, a face made for radio.  I also have a voice made for silent movies.  

Last Friday, the writers group I belong to, the  Kenosha Writers Guild (KWG), taped the first installment of what will be a monthly show on WGTD 91.1, Hi-Def channel 3.  The program is intended as a vehicle to showcase the members and their work.  It is being produced by a pair of talented and experienced radio veterans, and they have added an impressive touch of quality and professionalism to the program.  The program will be hosted by Chris Deguire, KWG writer and professor at Columbia College of Chicago.  In addition to being a tremendously talented writer, Chris has enough experience hosting conferences and workshops to make him a natural to host our show.  So everything was planned, and eight of us submitted short pieces of prose or poetry to read as part of our first episode.

One of the most noticeable symptoms of my instance of Parkinson’s Disease is my impaired speech.  At worst, my voice is soft and slurred with frequent cases of stuttering and stammering.  A side effect of the Deep Brain Stimulation I underwent last year has been, when the nuero transmitters are set to achieve higher benefit, an exacerbation of these speech issues.  Early this spring, under the guidance of my speech therapist, Dr. Norma Villegas, I went thru Lee Silverman Voice Therapy.   In the days before the studio session, using the techniques Dr. Villegas taught me, I rehearsed my reading several times, recording my efforts in a little hand held device I had purchased a few months ago.  I did pretty well and improved with each reading.   These practice sessions coupled with my temporarily turning down the voltages sent by my neuro transmitter left me feeling pretty comfortable and confident as we went in to the studio.

Then we are in the studio, the producers are radio theatre veterans with disgustingly smooth radio voices, and Chris is the host.  I’m the first to read, and he introduces me and conducts a short introductory interview, in which he lobs me simple questions.  Instantly my mouth is stuck and I stutter and stammer some nonsensical responses, sounding like a lobotomized Mel Tillis.  Panicky and anxious, I somehow make it thru the brief interview.  Then it’s time to read and I relax. I think I did pretty well.  The producers assured me they can clean up my incoherent babblings with the magic of editing.  

The other KWG writers who read their pieces did spectacularly well, and I look forward to the finished project airing – it is going to reveal the extraordinary talent and range of our little group.  The first session alone includes memoirs of growing up in Europe in the early 1940s, hysterically funny essays about controlling the thoughts of potatoes and encounters with Santa Claus, poetry, and insightful and moving essays about the boomer generation and turning 60 years old.  And I got to be a part of it!  We all had a great time, and we look forward to the next installment.  

I’m proud and grateful to be a member of the KWG.   I have to extend a sincere thanks to Dr. Villegas and my neurologist, Dr. Zadikoff, who has programmed my neuro transmitter in such a way as to give me the freedom to dial down the voltage when I need to engage in public speaking.  The ability to clearly communicate is one of the many wonderful things that I no longer take for granted.

DBS – Part One


(I am considering using this exceprt as the revised opening to the memoir I’ve written – the overall gist of which is to describe what life is like for an early onset Parkinson’s disease patient – any feedback would be appreciated)

January 14, 2010:  I wake up and I am half sitting in my hospital bed in a large room.  The heavy metallic frame that was screwed into my head earlier in the morning has been attached and locked into some larger metal base that I can’t see.    I can hear the usual blips and beeps of hospital equipment, plus the low hum of static.  It’s chilly, and there are people in scrubs milling about.  One of them notices I am awake, and the next thing I know my neurosurgeon, Dr. Rosenow, is in front of me.  He tells me the static I hear is in fact my brain talking, the impulses it creates converted to audio, and that they’ll be listening to it and talking to me as they install the first set of electrodes in my brain.  The fact that my brain waves sound like static is somehow not surprising to me.

As I sit there, awake with neurosurgeons literally in my head, listening to the white noise my brain is broadcasting, I look around the room, at least the portion of it I can see through my peripheral vision, as the bracket my head is mounted to prevents me from turning.  I see to my left and right a curtained off area that goes in a half circle around me, there is a man, a neurosurgeon I’ve never met before, sitting to my immediate right, and Dr Rosenow is behind me now, talking to me, apparently on the other side of the curtain.   He explains that they are now to the part of the procedure where, before they install the first electrode, they have to make sure they are in the right spot, and that they’ll be “listening” to my brain.  For the next hour or two, Dr. Rosenow, for the most part unseen because, just like the wizard of Oz, he does most of his work from behind the curtain, explores my brain by doing whatever the heck he is doing back there.  This must involve turning a dial of some sort, because sometimes, I can hear the static gradually getting louder, and then I feel my right leg and foot and then hand start to tremble and shake, slowly and gradually at first, then more and more rapidly and violently, until he turns the dial down and the shaking diminishes.  The other neurosurgeon takes my arm and bends it, and when he feels the Parkinson’s cog-wheel effect, they listen for the resulting quick change in the static to know they are recording the symptom; as they go on, I learn how to listen for these slight changes in the static patterns that indicate whether they are in the right spot in my brain.

This is all part one of the two part procedure known as Deep Brain Stimulation, or DBS.  When part two is complete, two weeks later, I will have two electrodes installed in my brain; they will be connected by wires which run from my brain down my neck to the right side of my chest where a neuro-transmitter will be installed.  Once programmed and turned on, the neuro-transmitter will send signals to my brain that will drown out the noise caused by Parkinson’s disease, the noise that is largely responsible for my symptoms of rigidity and stiffness.   DBS treats the symptoms of those Parkinson’s patients who are in an advanced state of the disease yet still young and healthy enough to lead an active life.  For these patients, it is viewed as a second chance, an opportunity to regain capabilities that the disease had stolen, and to retain a level of independence and freedom required to carry on a normal life.   It is not a cure for the disease, and does not prolong the inevitable outcome; rather, it treats the symptoms for a period of time.  I’d been eagerly anticipating this second chance for the past six months, as various complications delayed its start, and between work and Parkinson’s, life was declining in an increasingly repetitive exercise in fatigue and discomfort.  I felt like I was gradually fading away.