The Latest News From Science and Nature


This is the premiere of a new feature, “Science and Nature Headlines,” where I read actual recent articles on the internet and summarize them, to save you more of your valuable time.  The posts to the real links are included:

“Asian Unicorn” Seen in Vietnam for the First Time in 15 Years:  When asked where he’d been, the antelope replied:  “So we were going to lunch when I said, what, Mexican again?  If I eat one more chimichanga, I swear I’ll puke.  I’m a fucking asian unicorn‘Asian’ Unicorn, not a Latino unicorn.  So I said screw those guys, and left by myself for Mr. Wonton’s – they have the best egg rolls – and this fucking nun in  a station wagon ahead of me, she brakes for a bunch of baby ducks crossing the street – so I slam on my brakes, air bag deploys but I’m a fucking unicorn, you know, my horn pops that fucker, and I hit my head on the steering wheel – next thing I know, I’m wandering around a jungle in Vietnam, and they tell me it’s 2014 – say, is ‘Saved by the Bell’ still on?  That Screetch, he cracks me up!”

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/%E2%80%98asian-unicorn%E2%80%99-seen-vietnam-first-time-fifteen-years

Scientists Create Transparent Mice:  Scientist Will Smith:  “I was, in my lab, able to create a new breed of mice so transparent that one of them actually said, to a female mouse, ‘I have a copy of The Notebook that was signed by Nicholas Sparks.  If you want to come by my labyrinth tonight, I’d be happy to show you.’”      http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/transparent-mice-allow-incredible-anatomical-views

What’s the most dangerous place on earth? Turns out it’s seated between two life insurance salesmen on a cross country flight to Eugene, Oregon       http://www.iflscience.com/environment/whats-most-dangerous-place-earth

 

giraffe Why is this giraffe gnawing on an impala skull?  When asked , the giraffe replied:   “Because I much prefer the taste of the Impala skull, especially the late sixties to early seventies sedan models, to the Camaros and Chevelles.  I once tried the skull of a Buick LeSabre, and let me tell ‘ya,  I was in the bathroom for a week.”

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/why-giraffe-gnawing-impala-skull

Strangest genitals on earth:  Whew!  I didn’t make the list! That’s a relief!

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/strangest-genitals-animal-kingdom

 

 

About djgourdoux

Dave Gourdoux is the author of the novel "Ojibway Valley" and a lifelong resident of the state of Wisconsin. His work has appeared in The Midwest Prairie Review and Left of the Lake magazine. He is a featured contributor to the arts oriented website www.2ndFirstLook.com and maintains his own web site, “Drivel by Dave,” www.djgourdoux.com. He leads a local Parkinson’s disease support group, and volunteers as a tutor for adult literacy. He is a member of the board of directors of the Kenosha Writers Guild.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Latest News From Science and Nature

  1. Frances says:

    I think I just became a little concerned with how you are occupying your time these days.

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